Category Archives: Inspirational
Mud, Sweat And Tears: Bear Grylls’ Lessons For Surviving Life
In case you’ve been living under a rock and don’t know who Bear Grylls is, Edward Michael “Bear” Grylls is a British adventurer, writer and television presenter and is involved in a number of wilderness survival television series in the UK and US.
Grylls was appointed the youngest-ever Chief Scout in the UK at age 35. He was voted the 30th most influential man in America, and the seventh coolest British man, as well as the most admired person by the middle classes, second only to the Queen.
When he’s not eating live worms or tarantulas, he’s throwing himself off cliffs and showing us how to survive in some of the most extreme environments on Earth. But it’s not his insect eating or rappelling skills that I found interesting.
Having been a Bear Grylls fan for a while, seen many episodes of Man Vs Wild, Running Wild With Bear Grylls, and having just read his autobiography, I thought I would distil the lessons I learned for surviving life from his book, Mud, Sweat and Tears.
1. Do what you love
At a young age, Bear realized he was not great at academics, but he loved climbing and adventure, and was really good at it.
Having spent many happy days learning to climb and sail with his father, he went on to start Eton’s first mountaineering club, learned to skydive and earned a second dan black belt in Shotokan karate.
All those kids for whom academics is not the goal can take hope from Bear’s struggle. He found something he loved, and then worked hard to excel at it.
2. Push yourself to the limit… and then some
Bear endured a grueling training for selection with the 21 SAS Regiment (Artists Reserve). Often, during the training, when they were pushed to the limits of their endurance, he found himself having to push just that much more to complete the course.
Although he failed the selection the first time, he was called back and completed it successfully the second time. He joined as a reservist with the 21 SAS until 1997.
Having been told he was “too dumb” to quit, Bear realized that the reason he succeeded where stronger and smarter candidates failed, was because he refused to give up. He held in just that little bit longer, and it made all the difference between success and failure.
When you think a goal is too hard to achieve, don’t give up just yet. Sometimes it’s darkest before dawn. Hanging in there a just little while longer might be just what it takes to make it.
3. Know when to give up
In 1996, Bear suffered a freefall parachuting accident in Zambia, crushing three vertebrae and requiring 12 months of recovery.
After that, he knew that the back-breaking training with the SAS was beyond his abilities and quit the SAS, which he had worked so hard to join. He took it as a sign that he was meant to do other things instead.
When you know, in your heart, that something just isn’t working out for you, whether it’s a life goal, or a relationship, have the courage to quit and try something new.
4. Have a dream that inspires you
If it was Bear’s heart, hope and doggedness that got him into the SAS, it was the same qualities that helped him through his recovery.
Going from an active life, with few limits to what he could endure physically, to having to rebuild his body, goals and confidence shattered him.
It was the support of his beloved family, and his dream of climbing Everest, that kept him going through his darkest days, when his confidence and faith in himself were at their lowest.
Having a dream that inspires us, and holding on to it even when it seems impossible, can get us through many dark nights of the soul.
5. Faith, Friends and Fun
If there were three things that kept Bear going when he was training to climb Everest, it was his faith, the amazing friendships forged in adversity, and his love of climbing.
By his account, it wasn’t much fun training on Everest, but when you love mountains and climbing, it makes up for the suffering you have to endure at high altitudes.
When life puts you through the wringer, having faith in a Higher Power, friends you can trust with your life, and a sense of enjoyment in the journey can go a long way to helping you cope.
6. On the other side of pain is growth
High-altitude mountaineering is not much fun, especially on a mountain like Everest, that claims 1 out of 6 lives. The lack of oxygen, the constant threat of death, the cold and the suffering can take the mickey out of even the most experienced mountaineers.
Through it all, Bear endured. From falling sick to falling into a crevasse, the mountain put him through the toughest endurance course he had ever experienced. And when it was done and he had climbed the summit, he couldn’t wait to go home.
When you’re facing an experience in your life that is painful, it’s hard, if not impossible, to think of it as a stepping stone to personal growth. But that’s exactly what it is.
It’s only when you’re past it, that you can look back and know that some of the most painful experiences you endured are the ones that shaped you into the person you are now.
7. Stay grounded
When Bear was young, his Dad told him that the three traps that would get him in trouble were, “Gold, Glory and Girls.” It’s a lesson that he took to heart.
Remaining grounded in faith and family, not letting fame go to his head despite a successful TV career, and remaining loyal to his one true love, Shara, are the values that make Bear Grylls the man he is.
Fame and fortune are ephemeral. Family, faith and friendship are what last. They are what keep us grounded when everything else is fading.
There are many more lessons that I learned from reading Mud, Sweat and Tears, including the lesson that Nature is not something to be “conquered” but respected.
Reading the book has given me a greater appreciation for the phenomenon that Bear Grylls has become, and an insight into what makes him tick.
Bear Grylls: Mud, Sweat And Tears is a bestseller and is available at all major bookstores.
How To Transform Your Relationship With Yourself
How we see the world and interpret the actions of others depends on our relationship with our self. To change your relationships with others, you’ve got to change your relationship with yourself.
Why do we feel unhappy or unfulfilled in our relationships? Why do we complain, judge others or blame them for our problems? Usually, it’s because we feel that way about our self.
Our relationships and life experiences are a reflection of our inner world. How we see the world and interpret the actions of others depends on our relationship with our self.
To change your relationships with others, you’ve got to change your relationship with yourself.
[bctt tweet=”To change your relationships with others, you’ve got to change your relationship with yourself.”]
Own your feelings
Accept that you alone are responsible for the way you think and feel. No one can make you feel that way. Own responsibility for allowing yourself to feel the way you do.
Be self-aware
Step back and observe yourself from a distance. How do you react to people and situations? Are you reacting unconsciously from the “wounded child” or responding in a calm, compassionate manner? When you’re conscious and aware of your feelings in a situation, you have the power to respond, rather than react.
Be authentic
Be true to yourself. There’s no need to put on a mask or a persona for someone else. You are perfect, whole and complete the way you are.
Love yourself unconditionally
Accept yourself for who you are, the parts you like, the parts you don’t. You’re part of divine creation. When you know and believe that, you will love and accept yourself the way you are.
Never belittle yourself
Never put yourself down or disrespect yourself. Don’t allow anyone else to treat you in a way that you don’t approve of. Never accept less than what you deserve – from yourself or anyone else.
Take care of yourself first
Remember the airline stewardess telling you to put on your own oxygen mask before helping the person next to you? You can’t take care of someone else, your family, or your kids, if you don’t take care of yourself first. Make yourself and your health a priority and do what it takes to get well, in every way.
Get in touch with your Higher Self
Your intuition is your Higher Self, the self that knows without knowing, sees without seeing. It is this self that will guide you towards your higher purpose. Any time you spend in meditation, prayer or solitude, cultivating your relationship with your higher self, will be time well spent.
Learn to connect with yourself at a deeper level, find your purpose, and understand your role in the universe. It will transform your relationship with yourself, and with everyone in your life.
© Priya Florence Shah
To Be A Champion – Become A Child
Have you ever wondered what successful people have that makes them successful? Ever wonder how those champion achievers in your company manage, month after month, to get the most new business, the biggest bonuses, the largest paychecks?
Well let me tell you a secret. No one starts out as a Champion. Most of them started out like you and me. So what is it that makes a Champion different from the rest?
Champions have an attitude, a mindset that sets them apart from the rest. But most of these qualities are not exceptional.
Indeed each and every one of us possesses these qualities when we start out in life. But somewhere along the way we tend to lose them and diminish our own potential.
[bctt tweet=”To be a Champion, you must first become a Child! “] Let me explain:
1. Champions are Willing to Learn.
Children come into this world with an innate desire to learn, to understand the world around them. They’re like sponges observing and absorbing every fact, every reaction. Because they know that their very survival depends on it.
One of the most important, and oft-repeated, qualities we need to succeed in business is a willingness to learn – to be teachable. To become a champion, you must be willing to educate yourself or be educated, to read about, learn and absorb all the things you need to know, even if they are completely new to you.
If you don’t, you’re doomed to fail from the start.
2. Champions are Willing to Act
Have you notice how children completely geared towards action? As soon as they learn a new skill, they want to put it into action.
Champions are the same. They put their newly learned skills to use, taking concrete steps to improve their performance, so they can take their business to the next level.
They know that they must act on what they have learned, even if they haven’t perfected it. Which brings me to their next quality.
3. Champions are Not Afraid to Fail
Just as a child picks itself up again and again, every time it falls while taking its first steps, champions are not afraid to fall down or fail. They know that failure is the best teacher. They learn from their mistakes and keep fine-tuning their methods till they succeed.
[bctt tweet=”Champions have the courage to fall down and not be discouraged. “] They pick themselves up and keep trying.
4. Champions are Willing to Adapt
Survival does not happen to the Fittest, but to the Most Adaptable. As children, we adapt to long-term change relatively easily. We are more willing to accept situations and adapt our behaviour accordingly.
Unfortunately, as we grow older, we become more rigid in our thinking, unwilling to accept that there may be better ways of doing things. In a changing business scenario, resistance to change makes us obsolete. We end up losing out to players with a better understanding of changing trends.
[bctt tweet=”Champions are those who can adapt themselves and their business to changing trends.”]
5. Champions are Willing to Innovate
Children are extremely inventive beings. They come into this world with no preconceived notions of doing things. In their minds there are no limits to what they can do or how they can do it.
Champions apply these very principles to take their business to the top. They not only learn from what has been done before. They find ways of doing it more efficiently, more cheaply, more successfully.
You don’t have to be like a child in all respects to succeed. It’s probably not even desirable. But if your pre-conceived notions, fears and hesitation are preventing you from reaching your goals, try looking at the world through a child’s eyes.
At best you will improve your chances of success, at worst you’ll remain young at heart.
© Priya Florence Shah
Book Review: David and Goliath by Malcolm Gladwell
One of the reasons we love Malcolm Gladwell’s books is the way he uses the art of storytelling to contradict common assumptions about the way things work.
In this aspect, his new book, David and Goliath: Underdogs, Misfits, and the Art of Battling Giants, is full of well-researched, counterintuitive arguments that demonstrate patterns and connect the dots between seemingly unrelated events. In short, it does not disappoint.
As we’ve come to expect from a writer of his caliber, Gladwell grips you from the start, with the timeless story of David, the Israelite, and Goliath, the Philistine, and why the duel between them revealed the folly of our assumptions about power.
Gladwell argues that we “continue to make that error today, in ways that have consequences for everything, from how we educate our children, to how we fight crime and disorder.”
“Why,” he says, “do we automatically assume that someone who is smaller, or poorer, or less skilled is necessarily at a disadvantage?” Especially when history shows us that underdogs win more often than we think. “That’s because underdog strategies are hard,” he notes.
“To play by David’s rules, you have to be desperate,” he says. “You have to be so bad that you have no choice.” With stories from basketball to Lawrence of Arabia, he demonstrates how prestige and belonging to elite institutions (think MBAs), can actually limit our options. And how being an underdog and a misfit can give you the freedom to try things no one else has ever dreamt of.
He goes on to demonstrate, with some surprising statistics, how too small a class size and too much family wealth can, both be disadvantageous to children, and why it’s wrong to assume that being bigger, and stronger, and richer, is always in our best interest.
I found particularly fascinating the story of how the Impressionists succeeded by choosing to be the Big Fish in a Little Pond of their own creation. You’ll learn why, the more elite an educational institution is, the worse students feel about their own academic abilities.
So, if you did not make it through to the IITs (or Harvard, Yale or MIT), take heart. It’s better to be a Big Fish in a Very Welcoming Small Pond than a Little Fish in a Very Big and Scary Pond, says Gladwell. And going to that less competitive college might be the best thing you’ll ever do for your self-confidence and your career.
While it might seem counterintuitive to talent hunters, statistics show that hiring the best students from “mediocre” schools would be better than going after good students from the very best schools. “We have a definition in our heads of what an advantage is – and the definition isn’t right,” says Gladwell. “It’s the Little Pond that maximizes your chances to do whatever you want.”
[bctt tweet=”We have a definition in our heads of what an advantage is – and the definition isn’t right. ~ @Gladwell” via=”no”]
My favourite part, however, was when, using the fact that an extraordinarily high number of successful entrepreneurs (including British billionaire, Richard Branson) are dyslexic, he asks the controversial question, “Can dyslexia turn out to be a desirable difficulty?” Could it be that they succeeded, in part, because of their disorder?
[bctt tweet=”Can dyslexia turn out to be a desirable difficulty? ~ @Gladwell, David and Goliath” via=”no”]
When something, like your sense of sight, is taken away from you, your brain compensates by sharpening your other senses. In the same way, could dyslexics learn to compensate for their reading difficulty by becoming better listeners and learning to understand the nuances of human communication better than their peers? That does seem to be the case. As Gladwell states, “What is learned out of necessity is inevitably more powerful than the learning that comes easily.”
[bctt tweet=”What is learned out of necessity is inevitably more powerful than the learning that comes easily. ~ @Gladwell” via=”no”]
But the dyslexics who succeed also seem to have a special brand of stubbornness coupled with a highly developed ability to deal with failure, and the tendency to not care a damn for the approval of others – qualities that many a successful entrepreneur shares. These are the coping strategies they developed in a world that looks down on those who cannot keep up academically, but that gave them an advantage in the world of business, where disruption is greatly valued.
Personally, I like to see these so-called disorders, that the psychiatric profession is so quick to diagnose nowadays, as “gifts” that help us see the world in ways that others can’t. I used to think it was just me (and a bunch of other people who believe in a more inclusive world) that thought this way, so Gladwell’s argument that being “differently-abled” can be turned into an advantage delights me.
I believe that we will, one day, see the same argument put to people with autism. The evidence is already there. We just need someone like Gladwell to dig it up for us.
In the vein of what doesn’t kill you make you stronger, his next chapter speaks of the acquired, uncommon courage of those who survive either an event like the bombing of London by the Germans, or of losing a parent in childhood.
It reminded me of the courage of the people of Mumbai who are known for going back to work the day after a bombing by terrorists. With so many “remote misses” to create a feeling of invincibility, no other city in India can claim such nonchalance in the face of terror.
It’s his chapter on Wyatt Walker that I find the most unsettling, where he defends Walker’s use of children in Birmingham’s civil rights marches. “Our definition of what is right is, as often as not, simply the way that people in positions of privilege close the door on those on the outside,” states Gladwell.
Since Birmingham, child soldiers have been used by mercenaries like the Taliban in Afghanistan and Revolutionary United Front (RUF) in Sierra Leone in their battle against the Goliaths they were fighting, with disastrous consequences for the children involved (if you want to understand what happened to the children drafted into the RUF, I recommend you watch the Leonardo DiCaprio starrer, Blood Diamond).
So, no, I don’t think Birmingham is really the right kind of example to make in the David vs Goliath battles, no matter how worthy the cause.
Weaving a common thread through the stories of crime in America, and the war between the Irish and Prostestants in Northern Ireland, Gladwell goes on to show how “the excessive use of force creates legitimacy problems, and force without legitimacy leads to defiance, not submission.”
Gladwell wraps up the book with the beautiful and heartwarming story of Andre´ Trocme´ and the village of Le Chambon in France that protected Jews in defiance of the Nazi invaders. As he notes so eloquently, “The powerful are not as powerful as they seem – nor the weak as weak.”
[bctt tweet=”The powerful are not as powerful as they seem – nor the weak as weak. ~ @Gladwell, David and Goliath” via=”no”]